1) Chris Christie’s lap band and his weight before or after. I care more about what comes out of his mouth than what goes in it.
2) Where Tamerlan Tsarnaev is buried. I saw a group collecting money to ship him to Russia. Sorry childhood cancer, I’ve got more important things to donate to? Bury him in Boston. Piss on his grave if it makes you feel better. Or throw him in the Hah-Bah.
3) Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe and/or haircut.
4) Where the Obamas vacation.
5) Who Mark Sanford’s mistress is or where she lives or why he considers her his soulmate. How he got the majority of votes over Elizabeth Colbert Busch,however, interests me immensely.
6) Ariel Castro’s bad childhood, his drunk mother, his abusive father or whatever sympathetic tidbits the media dredge up.
7) What you think Thomas Jefferson would have thought about AR-15s.
8) What you think Jesus thought about homosexuality.
9) What she was wearing the night she was raped.