Top Ten Things I Do Not Care About

Don’t kill me for #10. This is just my opinion. So, shush.

1) Chris Christie’s lap band and his weight before or after. I care more about what comes out of his mouth than what goes in it.

2) Where Tamerlan Tsarnaev is buried. I saw a group collecting money to ship him to Russia. Sorry childhood cancer, I’ve got more important things to donate to? Bury him in Boston. Piss on his grave if it makes you feel better. Or throw him in the Hah-Bah.

3) Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe and/or haircut.

4) Where the Obamas vacation.

5) Who Mark Sanford’s mistress is or where she lives or why he considers her his soulmate. How he got the majority of votes over Elizabeth Colbert Busch,however, interests me immensely.

6) Ariel Castro’s bad childhood, his drunk mother, his abusive father or whatever sympathetic tidbits the media dredge up.

7) What you think Thomas Jefferson would have thought about AR-15s.

8) What you think Jesus thought about homosexuality.

9) What she was wearing the night she was raped.

10) Sports

Author: Jaime Franchi

Jaime Franchi is a freelance writer living on Long Island. Her work can be found on Salon.com, Milieu Magazine, Punchnel's and the New York Times. www.JaimeFranchi.com

8 thoughts on “Top Ten Things I Do Not Care About”

  1. Except for #10, I not only agree with every one, but I want to applaud most, and I plan to quote #1 without attributing it to you.

  2. I agree with all, but #10. For # 10 I would have put The Kardashians: who they are, what they’re wearing, what they do or why they exist.

  3. Agree with all. While I like sports, I don’t live or die by then so it really doesn’t matter if my team wins or loses. I only watch for the entertainment value.

    And #9 always annoys me when it’s brought up. I only care about it enough to say that….Rape, predates the miniskirt, so the ignorance of others on that one is what bugs me.

  4. Richard – No way, brother. I want a royalty check every time that is used.

    Alice – Let’s consider the Kardashians #11.

    Candace – Care to supply #12-15 with the filler/fluff in the news because you’re crabby?

    Kimberly – excellent point – rape predates the miniskirt. Truth.

  5. Great list! (Well. . .OK. . .except for the sports. . .)
    On the Sanford story, I did enjoy the 15 minute popularity of the phrase “Walkin the Appalachian trail. . .”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *