Time to Chuck Schumer

Chuck Schumer is the honey badger of legislators. He devours campaign cash, microphones and anything else to advance his vainglorious cause. Or, as the narrator in the now-infamous badger video says, “Honey badger don’t give a shit, it just takes what it wants.”

As Long Island Press readers may have gathered by now, brevity is not my strength. And, admittedly, my more interminable diatribes have been known to prompt eye rolling, even from those who love me. Therefore I shall be as efficient as possible in conveying this important political message:

It’s time for Sen. Chuck Schumer to move on.

Chuck Schumer is the honey badger of legislators. He devours campaign cash, microphones and anything else to advance his vainglorious cause. Or, as the narrator in the now-infamous badger video says, “Honey badger don’t give a shit, it just takes what it wants.”

Schumer’s patented move of holding a Sunday press conference in order to glom Monday morning headlines has become a long-running joke in Washington, and yet the media continue to cover every one of his self-serving events. Frankly, starting the week by opening up the daily newspaper only to see Chuck’s mug has become tiresome and insulting. Rarely, if ever, do these photo opportunities translate into anything tangible. Don’t get me wrong, there is frequently a bill or resolution spawned from Chuck’s press conference of the week, but most are dead on arrival with a pitiful few ever being referred to committee.

Those that do get there are largely perfunctory resolutions naming things like post offices or commemorating individuals. More importantly, not one of the bills proposed by Chuck since the financial collapse in 2008 had any effect on the financial services industry to which he answers. In fact, since the implosion of the financial sector he has successfully guided only seven pieces of legislation through Congress. Three of them were to re-name buildings and one had to do with the handling and archiving of FDR’s memorabilia. Not one of the three remaining resolutions was tied to the financial industry in any way, shape or form.

Yet Schumer has reaped historic donations from Wall Street firms in large part by providing the most important service to them that he possibly can: nothing. Chuck Schumer has done nothing to stand in the way of the reckless deregulation that brought the economy to its knees; nor has he authored any reasonable solution to fix things. But behind the scenes he is the go-to guy for Wall Street and his campaign coffers are undeniable proof of his effectiveness at stymieing anything that would negatively impact the ill-gotten gains of the financial mafia.

His transition from representative to senator seems to mark the precise moment of Schumer’s Faustian bargain that now has him serving at the pleasure of many Wall Street wizards, all of whom offer their allegiance to the almighty dollar. Through this compact with the devil Schumer has emerged as the ultimate Washington insider and the head of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee from 2005 to ’09, a powerful fundraising arm of the Democratic Party, where he thrived. His tenure oversaw a record number of donations funneled to the committee, most notably from – you guessed it – the financial industry.

The past few months Chuckles has been uncharacteristically quiet given the raucous events taking place down on Wall Street. In fact, the man who has made his career occupying Wall Street himself and benefitting from its largesse has precious little to say to, or about, those in Occupy Wall Street. One has to search diligently for the senator’s reaction to a phenomenon so big Time Magazine just named “the protestor” as its Person of the Year only to discover that while he defends the rights of protestors, they should “make sure they don’t get in the way of every day New Yorkers getting to and from work and going about their daily business.”

Actually, Sen. Honey Badger, that’s the point. If we continue to do nothing—the art of which you have perfected—there won’t be any daily business. This is a crisis, Chuck. One you had a pretty big hand in creating, for the record. How so? By being the world’s greatest accomplice as a member of the U.S. Senate Committee on Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs.

Chuck was there when Congress repealed the 1933 Glass-Steagall Act, thus allowing investment banks and commercial banks to merge. He was there for the creation of the Enron Loophole in the Commodities Futures Modernization Act. And he was there when President George W. Bush allowed the Intercontinental Exchange to trade oil futures, and later swaps and derivatives, as a foreign exchange outside of the purview of U.S. regulators. Lastly, Schumer is widely credited as the guiding force behind the controversial bank bailouts. In each case, what Schumer said publicly was very different from how he acted and voted. Every scenario saw “public Chuck” peering over his spectacles and haranguing officials over minute details when in reality he was helping to turn the screw behind the scenes.

But it’s his utter silence since the banking crisis began and to a greater extent since the Occupy movement took off like a rocket that Schumer’s true colors have shown. Protestors flooded the streets of New York beginning in September, chanting phrases that have spread across the nation. Phrases such as “Banks got bailed out, we got sold out” and “Whose street? Our street!” But who sold us out exactly and who really “owns” the street? Chuck.
In between authoring legislation that never goes anywhere accompanied by a carnival sideshow of Sunday press conferences, Chuck is busy doing what he does best. In the past five years alone he has raised more than $19 million in personal campaign donations, the majority of which came from the following industries: 1) Securities & Investment, 2) Lawyers/Law Firms, 3) Real Estate, 4) Lobbyists, and 5) Miscellaneous Finance. There you have it. Chuck Schumer—man of the people.

There are only 100 of these clowns in the Senate. How did we get Bozo? This is the Empire State. Can’t we do better? Is it too late to try and convince Elizabeth Warren to move here instead?

Chuck Pumps It Up

Obviously emboldened by the fact that either no one cares about his role in this disaster or no one understands how deep his involvement is, Schumer and his PR machine have continued to push the envelope of denial while pointing a crooked finger in the direction of everything but himself and the robber barons on Wall Street he has been protecting since taking office.

Charles Schumer Oil Shell Game
This fancy chart is another great way for me not to tell you why gas is so high at the pump

A couple of weeks ago Sen. Charles Schumer responded to a piece I had written claiming that he alone was responsible for the high price of oil. The point of the column was to illustrate the responsibility inherent in his position as the one senator who sits on the committees with oversight and authority to investigate and recommend legislation that would restore prudent checks and balances to the wildly unregulated commodity exchanges at the root of skyrocketing gasoline prices.

Because I was hoping to provoke a legitimate response from New York’s Democratic senator, I stopped short of detailing how intimately involved Schumer was in creating and subsequently covering for the irresponsible deregulation that allowed investment banks and oil companies to trade oil futures contracts without any oversight of a completely opaque and shadowy marketplace.

I was being polite.

As a result, the senator’s minions clearly viewed my rebuke as somewhat tongue-in-cheek, answering with the exact type of benign platitudinous response Americans have been conditioned to accept from our public officials. Schumer’s letter to the editor, which we published in its entirety the following week, ran sans snarky commentary from yours truly. (Those comments were left for my website.) Obviously emboldened by the fact that either no one cares about his role in this disaster or no one understands how deep his involvement is, Schumer and his PR machine have continued to push the envelope of denial while pointing a crooked finger in the direction of everything but himself and the robber barons on Wall Street he has been protecting since taking office.

His most recent diversion was to send a letter to Jon Leibowitz, chairman of the Federal Trade Commission, asking him to investigate U.S. oil refineries in connection with price fixing. Sounds logical, right? That’s our Chuck. Man of the people. But this is the perfect example of “gorilla dust” whereby two gorillas face off against one another in a spectacle of chest-thumping and screaming, throwing dirt in the air to create a commotion for the purpose of actually avoiding an altercation. The problem is that Schumer equivocates so often on this issue that his face and words have become wallpaper to Americans. He’s beating our collective will into submission by the sheer volume of deceptive statements.

To highlight the senator’s subterfuge, I have taken the liberty of explaining or translating his statements. Hopefully you will find this helpful.

Schumer: “Recent reports have indicated that U.S. refiners are cutting back on U.S. gasoline stockpiles in order to artificially keep prices high and inflate their bottom line… while gasoline use is declining, U.S. gasoline inventories remain below average and refining margins continue to rise.”
Planet Earth: The truth is that we have an over-supply of oil right now because, as Schumer admits, we are using less gasoline. The refiner doesn’t choose how much oil to refine, the market does. The market also determines how much the refinery is paid, and the oil companies such as Exxon Mobil and investment banks such as Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs are the market. All Chuckles is trying to do here is shoot the messenger and create a distraction from his beloved Wall Street funding sources.

Schumer: “I’ve called for the elimination of (oil) subsidies to help reduce our deficit and stop wasting taxpayer money subsidizing oil companies that don’t need any help.”
Planet Earth: Talk of eliminating oil subsidies is politically sexy and practically worthless unless we put an end to Big Oil’s ability to manipulate the market by simultaneously setting prices and driving the volume of trading. Eliminating the subsidies without fixing the fundamental market problem will bring in, or retain, more revenue for the government but the oil companies would have already taken it out of the consumer’s pocket to achieve the same bottom line margin by jacking prices at the pump.

Schumer: “I helped to protect a $100 million loan guarantee to build the Taylor Biomass Energy facility in Orange County that uses a process called gasification to convert over 95 percent of the waste received at its facility into cleaner energy.”
Planet Earth. Gasification, indeed. There’s only one thing spouting hot gas right now, and it ain’t the Taylor Biomass Energy facility. For the record, these projects are great for reducing greenhouse gas emissions. But let’s be clear about the energy potential. The energy captured from the average landfill is enough to power approximately 7,200 homes annually. That’s the equivalent of two on-shore GE wind turbines. Two, yes, two.

The well-documented back-room maneuverings done by Schumer to repeal Glass-Steagal in 1999, his assistance in creating the Enron Loophole in the Commodities Futures Modernization Act in 2000 and his silence as a member of the banking committee when the Bush administration obliterated all transparency in the commodities and derivatives market in 2006 makes him a central accomplice in the dirty dealings that precipitated the global financial meltdown and today’s spike in oil prices. His chicanery in addressing a fearful public represents the true nadir of the crisis.

So let me be absolutely clear this time in addressing our fair senator and be assured, sir, that my tongue is neither planted in my cheek nor forked as yours appears to be. Rather, it speaks a truth some part of you understands but no part of you wants to acknowledge. Save your minions the time and effort of responding as there is no more room in this paper for your spurious replies. As you are funded by the oil and bank oligarchy you helped to create, I hardly expect you to continue this conversation anyway. Regardless, for every dishonest press release you issue or diversionary press conference you hold, a growing number of informed citizens will know to offer this refrain:

Chuck Schumer is responsible for the price of gas.
Chuck Schumer is responsible for the price of gas.
Chuck Schumer is responsible for the price of gas.

Now, go forth and spread this word. If you made it all the way to the end of this column and have connected the dots that draw a picture of corruption please forward, digg, like, stumble, reddit, send it to everyone you know who is watching their savings flow from their wallets and into the coffers of Wall Street and Big Oil.